Thank you Guillermo del Toro for giving us Tom Hiddleston’s butt cheeks!

I went to see Crimson Peak.
And it was am-aa-zing.
To be fair, I am a sucker for Gothic romances. There is just something so…so…I don’t even know. But it’s dramatic and dark and my teenage self loves it.

Okay here’s the part where I start to go into spoiler…you have been warned.

So the story of young naive girl who wants to be a writer in the late nineteenth century isn’t a new one. However this one from the beginning sets itself up as different. It is no secret that this was advertised as a ghost story.

But it is not.

It is a love story that features ghosts. But the darkness and fear instilled in ghosts is very apparent in this film. Our protagonist can see ghosts, but like most people she is very very afraid of them.

The ghost of her mother warns her of Crimson Peak. Only thing is she doesn’t know what the hell Crimson Peak is. I mean the Ghost could have said stay away from the lovely eyes of tom hiddleston. At least that would have made sense, but it didn’t. It said Crimson Peak.
So when Edith (that’s her name BTW) meets Tom Hiddleston, who is British, and tall, and has blue eyes, and is tall, and is romantic, and can dance, and compliments her  writing, and is tall, and is Tom Hiddleston HOW CAN SHE NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM?

This is why the ghost should have said TOM HIDDLESTON, or SIR THOMAS, or HIS CREEPY ASS SISTER! But then I guess there would be no movie. And we need this movie because
of
this

Source: he-toast.net
Source: he-toast.net

Oh! And this…

Source: beaglebitch.tumblr.com
Source: beaglebitch.tumblr.com

I mean move over Magic Mike….am I right?
Anyway back to the review:
I should mention Jessica Chastain. Cause she was the creepiest and scariest and probably the best part of the movie (not including the above scene).

Without giving away the ending, Jessica Chastain’s character is well let’s just say she is seriously not well. Also, she likes to murder people. So there’s that.
You can probably tell that this love story isn’t so much of a love story. And poor Edith finds out once she’s hitched and moved to England. Only then does someone reveal the nickname of the house she has just moved into: CRIMSON PEAK.

Can you picture the music going all crazy?

So now she’s trapped with a man she loves…and is super hot…but also super sketch. And the scariest women alive.
Luckily she has this guy who is in love with her who decides to go to England to save her. But he totally fails and she ends up having to save him.

And then SHIT GOES DOWN! 

There are ghosts, and blood, and an intense face injury.
That’s all I’ll say.
Go Watch it. right now!
Go!
Also take a moment to thank Guillermo del Toro, for giving society the greatest gift of all time: Tom Hiddleston’s butt on screen.
Thank you all the powers of heaven! 

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